Long-Term Relationships
I'm not sure what it is, but I seem to have an easier time meeting people when I leave the country. Literally, every time I cross borders, I seem to find no shortage of relationship material. Granted, they always seem to be American, but who cares?
I'm not alone on this either. I have more than one friend who seems to find love lurking everywhere but in this great land of ours. And these are beautiful women, who are smart and funny and ambitious - we're not talking about the sub-par here. For some reason, they never really find long-term love here in the land of opportunity. But put them on a plane for Europe, and more than the time zone changes. For one reason or another, in some cases the land of opportunity holds everything but that when it comes to dating and relationships.
So what to do? While picking up and moving to a far-off land may be an attractive option, it's probably not the best decision for me, and most other born-and-bred Americans. The best thing to do, then? Bring the benefits of travel back home1x
When I say this, I don't mean that you should tote around a huge backpack filled with all your worldly possessions, or that you should shower in your flip-flops or become intimate with Amtrak. What it means is that there's something about traveling abroad that changes the way you see things, and the way you see yourself, and you can definitely recreate that here at home.
You see, the real reason that I, and others like me, sometimes find relationship potential abroad is because we're actually thinking differently and looking at ourselves differently, and sending out signals that are radically different from the ones we project in our boring lives back home. So here goes:
- Be (or pretend to be) excited and content with where you are. When I go abroad, I think I probably radiate excitement and enthusiasm, just because I'm so happy to be where I am - which is both in an amazing place and away from home. This comes across in the way that I walk, the way I interact with people, and my general demeanor.
- Forget about how others see you. I'm less concerned with the way others perceive me when I'm travelling abroad, just because I know that I'm not going to be interacting with these people again, or at least not very often.
I can wear whatever I want, style my hair however I please, and generally behave in the manner that would otherwise be least expected of me. And for some reason I'm more attractive this way...hmmm.
Pretend that you're only docked for a short while. Okay, this is a little harder to follow, but I guarantee good results here. One of the most attractive things about someone travelling abroad is the fact that they will soon go home. It's brutal, but also sort of romantic (sort of?). The reality that you will soon be leaving this exotic place to go back to the rigors of everyday life, the fact that you may never see this new person again - it makes you, and the whole situation, sort of exciting and surreal. It makes something ordinary like meeting a person seem dramatic and important. Recreating this feeling at home may be something like styling your hair yourself after a great haircut: you can try, but it's never going to measure up to the real deal. It's worth a try, though.
Will any of this advice really bring Europe, or more importantly, love, to you? Maybe. But if nothing else, it may be a good exercise in looking at yourself in a different light. And that's the best thing you can do for yourself anyway.
By Urmila Rajagopal
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