In speaking with twelve-year-old, Seth, about the differences in his relationships with his father and stepfather, I was surprised at his depth of understanding.

To put Seth's comments in perspective, like far too many American children, he was under five when his father left the house. At first Seth's dad kept up pretty regular contact with his son, but all too soon, this dad became more focused on his own wants and needs than those of his son. Still, Seth's dad kept making promises.

Picture if you will, a little boy, called in from play to talk on the telephone with his dearly loved daddy. This daddy says he's going to be picking the child up on such and such a day, at such and such a time, and the day comes and goes, and the telephone doesn't even ring to let the child know his dad has forgotten the date, or made other plans, or never intended coming in the first place.

Seth's mom tried to protect her son from the erratic nature of her former husband's behavior. She cautioned her son about not getting his hopes up too high, but, not wanting to bad-mouth his father, the most Seth's mother could do was to be there to comfort her son when his daddy didn't show.

Eventually, disappointments heaped on disappointments led Seth to the conclusion that there must be something he was or wasn't doing that was keeping his daddy away. Why else wouldn't his dad come to see or play with him? Why else would his dad promise Seth that his birthday and Christmas presents were "in the mail," but no matter how long Seth waited, most never arrived? How could they, they were never sent1x

As often as Seth's mother warned him not to expect too much from his dad, Seth's hopes and dreams were repeatedly dashed by a "pipe dream papa" who never hesitated to lead his son down a crumbled "pie crust promise" trail.

Mary Poppins was the first to caution us about "pie crust promises"?remember1x They're the ones that are "easily made, easily broken."

How many "pie crust promises" must a child like Seth endure before his heart breaks? Either the child's heart breaks, or his fantasies about his father's trustworthiness will.

Years of unkept promises had left Seth feeling angry, frustrated, disappointed, and finally disconnected from the father whose words have always been long on promises, and short on delivery.

After enduring all these years of false claims and unkept promises, Seth has finally come to the point where he discounts most of what his father says. Now Seth doesn't even want to speak with his dad on the phone. What's there to say? His dad doesn't even know who Seth is anymore1x

The plight of Seth is not far different from many another American child who has been left to cope with the devastating effects of what can only be considered a betrayal of the most fundamental kind. These children can no longer trust at least one, and sometimes both parents.

Using Seth as an illustration, as well as an example, we are all left to ponder how children feel when their parents betray them at such a basic level?

Worthless? Yes, that could definitely be one of the consequences of Seth's father's reckless and irresponsible behavior toward him1x

Angry? Most certainly this child would have to be that1x But, here another question arises: Would a boy like Seth be safe expressing his anger? The answer is anything but clear1x

Without a caring adult to show a boy such as Seth a safe way to express his anger, by the age of twelve, Seth could well have turned his anger inward and become depressed.

Seth also could have been among those "all too many other children" who, when faced with such prolonged and agonizing frustration, look for broader outlets for their rage. Seth could have chosen to act out.

Filled with hostility toward a world where the people you should be able to trust the most prove to be the most untrustworthy of all, Seth could have been the child who picked up a gun and fantasized about taking out his rage on a cruel and uncaring world?

If we as a society continue to fail to provide a safety net to support "at risk" children, and we continue to fail to provide these children with strong role models?people who can take them by the hand, walk them out into the world, and give them clues as to how to deal with that which they encounter?we're in big trouble, and so are the children1x

When a child is left without at least one caring adult with sufficient time to offer direction and support, each unescorted trip out into the world can be like "walking the plank." How's the child to know what's at the end of it, and how are we to know how each child is going to react to her or his own particular fears?

Returning to twelve-year-old Seth, all that his father promised and never delivered could easily have delivered this youngster up to his fears. With no role model for how to behave responsibly, Seth could have followed the only model that had been clearly demonstrated by his father. Seth too could have become reckless and irresponsible.

Luckily for Seth, there are other role models available for him to choose from?other paths for him to follow that didn't show up as planks leading out into the void1x Seth has a stepfather who is responsible, keeps his promises, and remains committed to being the kind of "parent figure" his stepson needs and deserves.

Seth's stepfather is so keenly aware of the many disappointments his stepson has suffered at the hands of his biological father, the last thing this man would do is break a promise to his stepson. He says he won't make the promise if he can't keep it. Such is the stuff trust is made of.