PUBLIC SEX1x
Dear Lady Eros:
I have been romanitcally and sexually involved with the same person for a few years and our relationship has always been very honest and open. Recently, we had our first experience with sex in public. We were both a bit drunk, and - walking home from the bar - we slipped into an alley and had a "quickie." I can't tell you how excited this made me. After several years with the same person, things can begin to feel a bit routine. Not that I'm complaining, I love the level of intimacy we've reached, but still, we had become a bit bland in bed.
Suddenly, after this experience, I feel a renewed passion for my partner. The problem is, without the risk of getting caught, I lose my enthusiasm. Now sex at home seems even more dull than ever. I'm afraid that if I tell my partner about this, he'll feel like an inadequate lover and take it personally. I am honestly not interested in sex otherwise - I've reached a point where, if I'm not going to enjoy it, I don't want to do it. I know this sounds selfish, but it's true.
What should I do?
Signed,
Public Lover
Dear Public Lover:
Welcome to one of the most persistent and prevalent issues of long-term relationships: boring sex. Unfortunately for you, sometimes you just have to put up with the boredom in exchange for all that lovely 'honest and open intimacy' you've got. Fortunately for you, there is an abundance of zealous sexperts who will eagerly take your money in exchange for all sorts of Internet advertised games, products, or drugs that will possibly spice up your love life.
As to your experiences with public sex, I want to first congratulate you on your brazen action to independently improve your own sex life. However, and I almost hesitate to mention this, I also need to state the obvious disclaimer: public sex/nudity is illegal and you are taking a risk. If you find that you can only engage in sexual activities outside, then eventually you will get caught. It's up to you to decide whether potential scandal or monetary fines are worth the renewed passion. Of course, public sex wouldn't be very titillating if there were no risk of outside 'unwanted' attention.
So what viable solutions remain possible for you? You could leave your partner and find someone more exciting, maybe that special someone who shares your passion for having sex outside of the bedroom. You could talk to your partner about your enthusiasm for public sex and keep doing it until that gets old or you can't afford to pay your fines anymore. You could check out some raunchy Internet pornography, which includes other couples and singles engaging in public sex. You could invite your friend who gets off on being a voyeur to watch you and your partner have sex. You could fantasize about being in public while having sex inside - douse your bedroom with stale beer and put up cardboard gawkers, and you've got yourself an alley of love.
Whatever you do, don't think that it's "selfish" not to have sexual intercourse if you're "not going to enjoy it." If you have unenjoyable and boring sex enough times, that wonderful level of intimacy you and your partner have reached will become hostility. And last, if nothing else, remember this - in experimenting with public sex, you discovered a "renewed passion" for your partner; that means you have an excellent chance of discovering other experiences which could similarly rejuvenate your sex life. Just keep trying different options, and whatever works continue for as long as it makes you both hot.
Lady Eros
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