Dear "Lady Eros"
I need your help1x I have been dating the same guy for over 2 years, and we've been sleeping together for almost 2 years. Don't tell him, but I have never actually fully 'enjoyed' the sex. To be blunt, I've never had an orgasm - not with this boyfriend or with anyone else. At least I don't think I have. He's a great guy, and I love him, but everyone talks about how great sex is, and I just can't join in without thinking I'm some kind of freak. It's not like I hate it or anything, but I'd almost always rather go to the movies, or read a book or something. I can't handle much more of this. Give me some advice and please hurry1x
Born to be a nun
Dear "Nun Fun:"
Before you get thee to a nunnery, let me share some thoughts.
Let's assume you haven't had an orgasm if you "don't think" you have. Orgasms are pretty noticeable and you'd be enjoying yourself during sex a lot more than it sounds like you are if you were climaxing.
You didn't say it in your note, but I get the feeling that your boy thinks you're enjoying yourself a lot more than you actually are -- not good. If you've been dating this "great guy" for over two years, I hope that you have some COMMUNICATION happening between the two of you. And I'm not talking about 'Blank, I really love you,' or 'Gee Blank, my feeling about you are so strong.' I'm talking, 'Blank, I like it when you touch my clitoris,' or 'Gee Blank, I'm not crazy about this sexual position, let's try it with me on top.' See what I'm saying?
For you to be able to communicate sexually with each other, it sounds like you need to explore your own sexuality a little. When you say "I've never had an orgasm - not with this boyfriend or with anyone else" I hope that does not include yourself.
