The Pick-Up Artist
One of the most consistent complaints among single twentysomethings is the difficulty they have meeting other (datable and single) twentysomethings. It seems, of course, that all the good ones are taken -- and it's not even easy to meet the not-so-good-ones. So where to go? There are the cliched places, and the ones that you have to read women's magazines to find. So let's take a little time to dissect those purported pick-up joints, and find out how likely you are to meet the future love of your life at any of them.
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Why don't we start out simple and hit the local bar scene, shall we?
Ah, yes. The tried-and-true hub of the dating scene. The place where young urban professionals can mingle with more of their kind, where artists can meet fellow artists, where people of all different backgrounds can relax and get to know one another with beer in hand and no strings attached. Sound like any bar you know? If it does, let me know where it is, because I certainly have never been there.
The reality is probably a little closer to this: It's Friday, around lunchtime. You get an e-mail from a friend, and it's been forwarded to all sorts of people that you don't know by all sorts of people that you don't know. It says that "everyone's" going to go to some bar tonight. You have nothing else to do, so you figure, why not? You convince a couple other people to go, and you go . . .and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own . . .sorry, temporarily overpowered by The Smiths. Seriously, though, it's possible that you, or someone you know, might convince you that Mr./Ms. Right is just waiting for you at this watering hole and it's also possible that you go with this idea in mind.
There's a statistic that says that it's more likely that you'll be hit by a bolt of lightning. All right, there's no such statistic, but there should be. And here's why:
How many times have you gone to a bar? And how many times have you talked to anyone of even remote interest at a bar? If the proportion is greater than one-fourth, you're lying. If it's at least greater than one-eighth, you've got some luck there. The point is, it's more likely than not that you will spend the great majority of the night talking to people you already know, and however fun this may be, it's not exactly "putting yourself out there." The rest of the time will likely be divided between dodging sketchy people hitting on you, attempting to not be one of those sketchy people, and trying to withstand the personality-debilitating effects of the mighty alcoholic beverage. All in all, not a bad night, but not a productive one either.
Does this mean that you shouldn't hang out bars? Dumb question. Does this mean that you shouldn't try to meet people at bars? Of course not. Just don't have any unrealistic expectations . . .and you never know.
By Urmila Rajagopal
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