Being A Gender Bender Has Its Problems.
My friend Mary is not what one would call,
"a girly girl." She has short hair, plays a mean game of basketball,
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and wears
button down shirts and sweater vests.
But this is no substantial cause for the ruckus that ensued the day Mary and I went to T-Mart (aptly described as any large-chain retail store located all over the strip-mall circuit) for some bargains.
Our excursion into the realm of shopping mania began innocuously enough: I chose a scrapbook I liked, Mary decided to purchase some candles, and before we left the store we stopped into the restroom - the Women's restroom. Normally, this would not be grounds for such wide scale alarm, but the perspicacious check-out clerks at T-Mart apparently discerned the criminal streak under our guileless shopping facade. Fifteen seconds into the institution green stalls and there were several angry voices joining us in the bathroom. "Where did he go?" I heard and immediately groaned inwardly; this had to be better than the woman at the bank who cheerily told my confusion causing friend upon receipt of a check, "Mary - that's a strange name for a boy." No such luck. In less time than it takes to flush a toilet there were two security guards, the store manager, and three check-out clerks in the bathroom with us. As I stepped out of my stall, the store manager was enjoying his authority. "Sir. Excuse me sir. We need you to step out of the stall." One of the security guards nodded his seemingly disinterested agreement. Mary walked out of the stall as I was innocently telling the growing crowd that this wasn't one of those zany coed Ally McBeal restrooms; it was for women.
Fortunately, Mary wasn't charged with breaking any sexual identity laws that day, but her status as a gender outlaw certainly causes a spectrum of varying reactions from everyone. Responses to gender bending may include acceptance, surprise, amusement, or even disgust, and vary from situation to situation. A high school boy wearing nail-polish might get harassed by his sporty peers, or in extreme situations, such as the case of Brandon Teena (the real story on which Kimberly Peirce's movie Boys Don't Cry is based),
horrifying violence and intolerance may result.
On the other hand, RuPaul has made a highly lucrative career of deviating from gender norms, and of course, from maintaining a great sense of style. And we can hardly overlook Richard Simmons, another popular
icon (one whose popularity I just don't understand) and one whose leopard print
leotards and 'feminine' sensitivity have made him no less than an aerobic guru.
And I also don't think that anyone would disagree with the argument that New
York City's Halloween Parade would not achieve its enormous turnout, nor its
high entertainment quotient, without the incredible ensemble of costumes the
drag queens manage to put together.
John Gray, the author of the infamous bestseller, Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus, purports the notion that men and women are from different planets - they're different species that have forgotten that these vast divergences exist between them. I think the lines are blurrier than he connotes, especially in terms of gender presentation, and these boundaries are becoming less and less visible. Whether it was that maverick man who decided he wanted his ears pierced, or 80s glam rock bands choosing to wear makeup, or someone resolving to actually go through with gender reassignment surgery, people trespass across gender lines constantly. It's progress; women and men aren't from separate planets, or even boroughs. That's why coed bathrooms are a fine idea - except for the urinals.
By Tamar Goelman
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