Virtual Love
 Last night I met a man named Hot Dog. He has brown hair, blue eyes and a lingerie fetish. He can't actually spell the word lingerie, but never mind -- he can talk about it in eloquent detail. Had it not been for the fact that a deliveryman appeared with my broccoli and garlic sauce at just the wrong moment, I might never have torn myself away.
Have no fear. I haven't taken leave of my senses. I've only been exploring for you the world of online match-making, entering every dimly lit corner of the world of cyber-romance (and, let's be frank, cyber-sex) so you won't have to.
I met up with Hot Dog, and others like him, in matchmaker.com's Swingers and Couples "community," which bills itself as a place where you can "explore your adventurous side." In short, it's nowhere you'd want to bring your mother. Logged on as "The Spy," I opted for a free two-week membership and was asked to fill out a profile that would have brought color to the cheeks of even the swinging-est girl. I was grilled about my fantasies, my sexual preferences and my most outrageous experiences -- not to mention my weight.
Having confessed to whether I prefer threesomes or foursomes or just generally believe "the more the merrier," I was allowed to begin browsing other members' profiles. I first ran into a couple from Manhattan interested in meeting for an "all female pile-up" -- Have I mentioned yet that visitors to the community must be over 18? Fulfilling that particular fantasy with them seemed a bit far to go for the sake of investigative journalism, but had I wanted to pursue the opportunity, I would have had numerous options; among other things, matchmaker.com allows users to leave voicemail messages for new "friends."
Matchmaker.com is not only for the brave. Described as a "network of city-centric and lifestyle-specific Web communities," the site has something for just about everyone, including those who are not interested in either lingerie talk or pileups. In fact, communities that can be accessed through the site include the Christian Connection, Catholic Singles, Latter Day Saints/Mormons and Jewish Singles.
Matchmaker.com also offers communities for specific age groups, such as Teen Talk, College Connection and Silver (for singles over 40). The site says it has 2.6 million members, with 25,000 more joining each week. I'm sure some of them are quite well behaved.
My foray into the world of cyber love actually began on Love@aol. I'd been to a dinner party where I expressed, rather loudly, the opinion that I'd sooner walk down the street in a T-shirt that said "Loser" than expose myself to the indignities of a matchmaking service, on-line or otherwise. The couple to my right turned slightly ashen, gave me a pair of tightly-lipped little smiles and explained that they had met on Love@aol. They seemed smart, attractive and -- until I put my foot in my mouth -- friendly. So, after crawling back out from under the table, I pledged to give the site a try.
My favorite thing about Love@aol is that it's free. My least favorite thing about it is that it's a little silly; it's full of games, horoscopes, fill-in-the-blank love letters and wacky tidbits that don't actually seem to have much to do with real-life friendship or romance. They're fun (a date planning feature suggested, based on my answers to a number of questions, that I would most enjoy wine tasting or skeet shooting), but distracting if what you're after is to meet a decent person and communicate with him or her in a grown-up, civilized way.
Still, once you get past the amusement park-style hubbub, there are people to meet -- 375,000 of them, to be precise. You can browse profiles by geographic location, age, gender and a number of interests and other criteria. Or you can pick from the hundred newest ads by their taglines. ("Jewish Tom Selleck" caught my eye?)
You can also opt to view only profiles that include photographs. I recommend this tactic, not because it's important to make sure your potential mate is a perfect 10, but because the pictures people chose to include are so revealing of their characters. Fireman Joe displays himself naked from the waist up lying on a leopard skin rug -- and that tells me much more about him than anything he could ever tap out on his computer.
I also paid a visit to Match.com, which suffered in comparison to Love@aol in two ways. First, it costs money ($16.95 per month after a one-week free trial) and, second, as far as I can make out, the site will allow you to search by age and physical characteristics but not by profession or interests. Is it na?ve of me to think that it's more important to be able to search for a fellow bookworm or nature lover than a 5'6" redhead?
On the positive side, Match.com has a young, well-educated member base, an easy-to-navigate layout and some excellent advice columns, so the site is worth a visit.
If after all of this, you're still cruising the aisles of Blockbuster on your own, don't despair. You've only just scratched the surface of romance on the Web. Give lookinforlove.com a try, or oneandonly.com or kiss.com or datingclub.com. Or put on a pretty dress and take the dog for a walk.
By Kate Fodor
Would you like to Comment on this article or send it to a friend? You can do either one just below where you see:
Submit Comments on this Article: or
Mail this article to a friend?
If you want to read more articles from this author just enter their last name in the "Site Search" box (located at top right of this screen) and press your "enter" key.
|
|
