Everybody loves garlic. If you say you don't, you're either lying or you miss prison meals. The precious garlic bulb shoots its roots deep into the cuisine of nearly every culture around the world. So I ask you, in how many languages can you say "garlic"? Some folks claim that garlic transcends, in fact, the gastronomic realm, that it has mystical properties, that it can become -- in suitably high doses -- a mind-altering drug. But don't just listen to me, go read some pithy little things that others have said about the age-old smooch-repellent. And now that you're really under the influence, why not send a garlicky electronic greeting card to a friend? You'll touch a loved one with a "Stink-O-Gram" without even having to scrub under your fingernails.

If garlic is a bit fiery for you at the moment, maybe you're looking for something ... blander. Well, how about toast? As ordinary as simple cooked bread may seem, the anytime treat sure has awakened some passionate Web tributes. Yup, there's even a whole page of "Toast Haiku." (My personal favorite: Consume nirvana/ God is not to be eaten/ But toast will suffice) Perhaps you have a burning question (sorry, pun intended) about some aspect of toastiness: Just ask Dr. Toast1x Most major toast topics are covered here, or you can submit your very own query. Once you've learned all there is to know on the subject, including what it means when your toaster shoots bread across the room, tune in to see a Pop-Tart -- a slice of toast's goofy distant cousin -- become the subject of a dangerous and scary scientific experiment.

Which leads us seamlessly to the "Gallery of Regrettable Food," an impressive collection of forgotten ads and reprints from old cookbooks (seasoned with hilarious Webmaster commentary). We're talking the post-war era of "beef porcupines" here. As you shake your head in disbelief that any of these dishes was ever actually eaten, you'll also be reminded just how far cookbooks have come since the '50s. Take Gel-Cookery, the amazing trend in which any variety of ingredients is suspended in a gravity-defying chamber of Jell-O-like goo. Sure, molds and aspics still show their jiggling faces on restaurant menus today, but not like this1x Want your salad vegetables bound together on the fork so you don't need to spear them individually as you assemble each bite? Try the only garden salad with gelatin1x And don't forget to check out the space-age fruit salad of the new millennium.

Did you know "you're really cooking when you're cooking with Seven-Up"? Me neither, but apparently a slender volume from the days of yore actually made such a claim. Go ahead, take a stab at expanding the uses of the sweet, fizzy liquid by following a recipe for Seven-Up cheese-filled pancakes. Or get some helpful tips on basting meats with your favorite clear soda. The authors say, for instance, that Seven-Up "takes away the 'gamey' taste" of duck "and still preserves the natural flavor." (Hmmm -- some of us like that "gamey" taste.) Finally, when you're through expanding your culinary repertoire with sugary, carbonated magic, throw a big Seven-Up bash and serve up all your enhanced creations at once. Just one question: What's to drink?

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