Actually you can do two things. The first, you can search for love, then sometimes you will feel peace. But this path is not easy and dangerous also, Because the other person whom you love has become more important than you; But the other is the other, and you are becoming in a way dependent. So love will give you peace sometimes but not always1x
There will be many disturbances, many moments of anguish and anxiety,
Because the other has entered and involved. Whenever another enters there is bound to be some disturbance, Because you can meet with the other only on your way and surface. The surface will be disturbed.
Only sometimes when the two of you will be deeply in love with no conflict, Only then will you sometimes be relaxed and the heart will glow with peace. So love can only give you glimpses of peace, but nothing really established, rooted. Definitely no eternal peace is possible through it, only glimpses. And between two glimpses there will be deep valleys of conflict, violence, hatred and anger1x
The other way is To find peace not through love, but directly. If you can find peace directly-and this method for it-your life will become filled with love. But the quality of love will be different. It will not be possessive; it will not be centered around one. It will not be dependent and it will not make anyone dependent on you. Your love will become just a lovingness, a compassion, a deep empathy. And now no one, not even a lover, can disturb you, Because your peace is already rooted and your love comes as a shadow of your inner peace. The whole thing has become reversed.
Above of all, first be established in peace on your own, Then you are independent, and then love is not your need. After that you will never feel imprisoned when you are in love; You will never feel that love has become a sort of dependence, a slavery, a bondage. Then love will be just a giving: You have too much peace so you want to share it. Then it will be just a giving with no idea of return; It will be unconditional.And it is one of the secrets that the more you give, The more it happens to you. The more you give and share, the more it becomes your own. But love must happen to you as a shadow of inner peace. Ordinarily the reverse is the phenomenon: peace happens to you just as a shadow of love. Love must happen to you as a shadow of peace, then love is beautiful. Otherwise love also creates ugliness, it becomes a disease, a fever1x
If you are peaceful the whole world becomes peaceful to you. It is just a reflection. Whatsoever you are is reflected all over.Everyone becomes a mirror.
~Sang-Bong Lee, Ph.D. (Philosopher & Poet) *All rights reserved and copyrighted by Sang Bong Lee, Ph.D.
*Reprinted here by permission of Sang Bong Lee, Ph.D.
