In Christian Slater's movie, "Bed of Roses," Slater's character sends his new love pale purple, thorn-less roses (her favorite) all day. Her house is brimming with flowers as Slater tries to win her heart with this chivalrous gesture. While watching, "Mr. Home Video" leans over to his girlfriend and whispers, "Do you want me to do stuff like that?"

"No, you don't need to," she whispers dryly, while running through her mind is: "Of course I do1x What are you thinking?"

So you guys ask, why do we say no if we don't mean it? You must understand, this is not a game we play. If you must put a label on it, I would call it more of a test. Women don't want to have to tell you to be romantic, and especially not to have to tell you how1x

So you ask her anyway: "should I do this" or "should I do that", and you get the standard NO. What to do now? One of these times, do it anyway. Most likely, your love's response will be quite the opposite of her response to your "should I".

Start paying attention. The next time your girlfriend makes a comment about how your best friend always holds his girlfriend's hand, don't ask if she wants you to hold hers more. Just do it. (Those Nike ads have some good advice1x) There is an important key to this idea though. You cannot start holding her hand the moment she makes the comment about your friends. She has to think it is your idea, so you must time it just right.

Sometimes you will feel you just can't win.

There will be times she says she does not want you to bring her tulips like her father brought her mom; she just thought it was a sweet gesture. Then you bring her tulips anyway and find out she is allergic to them, so she really meant she didn't want you to bring her tulips. It will happen. That's when you must remember this important lesson: you can fail either way so it is better to get credit for the thought than no credit at all.