Every night I follow the same instructions: Remove tray from outer carton. Cut film cover to vent. Cook on high for 5-6 minutes. Carefully remove tray from oven and let stand for one minute. So as not to exclude the Flintstones among us, the box also has instructions for conventional oven preparation, for those who possess the patience to preheat the oven and then actually wait 35 minutes. THIRTY-FIVE. Within that time, I could run downstairs to Hunan Balcony, digest a full meal, egg drop soup included, and open a fortune cookie that warns, "You love Chinese food." (Interpretation: "Your destiny ought not be discussed in this venue. Seek help.")

Speaking of help, last night the leader in my Weight Watchers meeting said, "Do yourselves a favor." Uh-oh, I thought, is this going to be another hug-yourself-in-the-morning piece of advice? "Do yourselves a favor and spend some time in the produce section. Look at all the fruits and vegetables, all the different shapes and colors, and ask yourselves why you won't nourish your body with these gifts of nature." Part preacher, part diva, this leader uses sweeping hand gestures when she lectures, and sometimes she adopts a Southern drawl for motivational emphasis. Every week she saves some metaphorical morsel for us to chew on as we leave the Center to meet the restaurant-lined streets. "Your body is a castle. When you make healthy choices you are getting the throne ready for the queen." Not queen as in Dairy Queen (you wish...), but queen as in the worthy self who inhabits the castle.

After rolling my eyes during the first couple of meetings, I finally decided I would have to drop the cynicism in order to drop the pounds. Ok, so my leader's a tad drunk on self-help jargon. But she IS a lifetime member, and I might glean some wisdom I pay attention.

Since the 18-inch microwave has long been THE fundamental appliance in my 20-inch kitchen, I'm a real amateur when it comes to food preparation. I can make toast but the truth is I BOIL WATER in the microwave too. As for survival, I know how to tell when the canned peas and frozen broccoli spears have been radioactively seared, and I have a pretty good sense of how much apple pie I need to ingest in order to have had a full serving of fruit. But, on a basic nutritional ripe-fruit-identifying level, I am shamefully impaired. So even if I take Queen Bee's advice and stock up on pumpkin squash and cauliflower heads, I won't know what to do with them once they reach my kitchen?

Nonetheless, I want to live well, feel energized, and nourish my body and soul. Take responsibility. Fit into last summer's shorts. Achieve a goal, etc. In a twist of fate, this evening I found myself perusing the produce lanes. Unlike the pre-packaged pre-washed salad bags I usually buy and let spoil, this time I filled a produce bag with a colorful blend of Mesclun lettuce. Purely on my natural vegetable-instinct I chose a small stiff zucchini and a bunch of carrots still wearing their long green New Year's hats.

As I approached the fruit bins, I hung out along the edges and watched the more sophisticated shoppers squeeze. I started by acquiring a no-brainer, the banana, with which I already had some experience. I skipped over the orange and grapefruit--in fact the whole citrus clan--because I find peels burdensome. But alas, there before me in shades of sunset: the nectarine. I held several in my palm and feigned expertise before I bagged three.

At home, I hand-scooped the organic salad and positioned it on the plate alongside my favorite Lean Cuisine dish, Chicken a l'Orange (not to be confused with mundane Orange Chicken...) I sliced up half the zucchini, microwaved it (hey, the zucchini itself is a big step...) and decorated my plate with it. For dessert I thought I'd try (no commitment) a nectarine. I don't want my body to go into shock, so I'm slowly introducing the goods of nature, as I even more slowly decrease the sodium preservatives. As I ate dinner on my futon (slash, tabletop), I waited with anticipation to feel the first nourishment rush. Aaaaah1x

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